Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
