My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
