woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
