she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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