smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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