There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
