I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize