At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
