im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
