Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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