the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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