Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
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Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
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March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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