I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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