Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
