im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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