So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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