Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
