I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You pole danced in your parka.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
