THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i out mim tonsoeep
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
