Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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