i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
