We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
