I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize