i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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