We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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