I don't think brook has ever known best
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
