that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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