hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
