i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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