i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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