i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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