he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
