If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
