I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
