we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
