id be glad to
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
