You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
