didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
