So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
you never un-have a 4some
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
