I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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