Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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