Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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