Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
