Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
