Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
