Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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