This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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