She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
