Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
