ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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