So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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