The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I look better un-naked...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
