i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
