we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
