Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
