dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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