I think I just saw someone hide a body.
someone owes me an orgasm
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
