My room smells like vodka and shame
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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