Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize