the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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