Quick, to the slutcave!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
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I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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