Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Barsexuality is the new black.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
