marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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