it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
