the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
