I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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