I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
