i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
